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Summary 8/11/17 — August 11, 2017

Summary 8/11/17

The party went to the shepherds camp and went into a yurt to talk with the dwarves.  Max turned invisible and sat in a tent and picked some pockets.  Tempest seduced the dwarves and then scared them.  Britain said he would tell us what we wanted to know.  Even though the other dwarves said they would frikin stab him. He went to Nia and said that they were hiding the silverbacks in a cave.  The dwarves decided to attack us so Max set the tent on fire and we dipped hard.  Ovak turns into a horse and Nia and Max both ride him.

We arrive at the secret yeti cave and enter on our super secret mission.  FIGHT TIME with some dwarves and one was an archer, and one was a wizard.  Max burned a dude to death even though Tempest and Nia had agreed to do non-lethal damage.  Tempest made some vines to grab a dude.  Gloria was totally a bear-lady-dwarf the whole time. Ovak is probably gonna die.  Nia hit a guy with a NON-LETHAL ice beam and “Knocked him unconscious”.  Also Baller is there and he is trying to kill us too.


Summary 6/3 — June 3, 2017

Summary 6/3

We started our trek through the mountains with Max as our guy-duh. The warriors are leading the caravan fearlessly when Max sees some circling birds! Ovak saw the same birds and informed the party that the birds were dark in color, so we all knew that!

Upon investigating the pile of dead horses, our heroes were attacked by a terrifying yeti! With piercing blue eyes that can freeze you solid, the yeti was a fearsome foe. Turns out there were three total yetis and, despite their size, we couldn’t see them in the snow? @DM.

Anyways, Ovak almost dies, Tempest almost causes an avalanche, Max flourishes, Nia actually does damage to the yetis, Ovak & Max & Tempest get frozen, Starbuck tramples a yeti, and then they win the fight!

On the way through the mountains, we see a mysterious white wolf, howling at us from atop the cliffs. Ovak tried to communicate but got no response. We made it into town and a super rude Vilar the Dwarf was using a Catholic pendulum to make the town warmer. We met Grovel and Gilmore, who offered us pay to find out why the wooly rhinos are disappearing! It’s either yetis or an enchantress that controls a pack of wolves, or something else.

John Mulaney appears in Balfam’s temple to Pelor, Tempest does a tumbling routine in a restaurant, Nia steals gold from a priest, Max pilfers some stuff, we stay the night and then we’re on our way! Oh, and Lukil was there the whole time–Ovak totally invites him up to his private room!!! Lukil didn’t pick up on his advances… Max reveals himself to be a tiefling.

In the morning we meet Gloria and Baller, two dwarf siblings to guide us on our quest, as well as Actual Vilar who is boring and cowardly. It’s hella cold as we travel to a storm giant who seems bent on destroying us. He and his wolf, Shadow, are very serious threats–Max falls unconscious–but we take them down! Max did some kick ass crit and sneak attack bonuses.

The giant said he didn’t take the wooly rhinos, so the party is off to interrogate the enchantress!

Grazing Grounds —

Grazing Grounds

DM: They’ll meet you out at the grazing grounds.

Max: Braising grounds?

Nia: Praising mounds?

Max: Blazing hounds?

Nia: Traipsing towns?

Max: Tazing bounds?

Ovak: Crazin’ clowns.

Tempest: Lazing pounds?

Nia: Glazing downs?

Max: Mazing frowns?

Nia: Macing gowns? Tracing nouns? Making sounds?

Tempest: Dazing fronds?

GM: Placing pawns?

Nia: Flaking prawns?

Max: Hans and Frans? Sigmund and Freud?


Summary for 5/4 – When all hell breaks loose — May 4, 2017

Summary for 5/4 – When all hell breaks loose

Previously, on 3&up:

  • The party rests in Queen’s Shield. Nia writes home.
  • A boat from Corensia arrives. From the ship comes some knights…also a bunch of criminals (including Leon).
  • Sergeant Ernest, head of the knights, talks to Jason. He is responsible to “watch over this lot.” We’ve got an Australia situation over here, aka penal battalion. This is the first boat and the real delegation boat will be arriving tomorrow.
  • Leon and Mara banter about his horse. Then he walks away and punches Sigmund in the face and they fight.
  • Ignis does some freaking amazing magic and puts up a fire wall between them.
  • Mara doesn’t like that and fights Ignis so he won’t interfere with the “honor duel.” #rollinitiative #WeDidn’tKnowWhatWasToCome
  • Ignis makes ‘splosions. Mara picks Nia up and pushes her out of the way brusquely. Ovak heals Mili. Mara trips Nia. Corran tackles Nia and Nia speaks gnomish to Corran before bamfing out.
  • Corran catches fire and is knocked unconscious. Nia puts him out and sings a gnomish lullaby to help stabilize him.
  • Meanwhile, Ignis has grappled Mara and disarmed her. Mara and Ovak yell to Nia to not fuck up in saving Corran.
  • Corran dies in Nia’s arms. Nia panics, attempts to bend luck and shove goodberries into Corran’s mouth. When Corran is obviously dead, she casts shatter on Mara, Ignis, and Leon, then experiences a wild magic surge and levitates with Corran into the air. Mara’s shield disintegrates with the force of the shatter spell.
  • Mara (unknowingly) casts “Disguise Self” and looks like she is wearing dark clothes with a hood. 
  • Ovak turns into a black leopard and runs over to Mili to comfort her. (“Basically the most amazing thing we’ve ever seen.”)
  • Nia, still levitating, enters a dark void and a voice says, “You have taken my quarry from me, but the hunt is not over.” Light returns.
Summary from 4/20 (lit) — April 20, 2017

Summary from 4/20 (lit)

We finished our battle against the evil vampire dude. Our Roman “friends” came back, saying the head vampire guy got away. A dark shadow appeared in the room and pointed at the non-Roman crew and said in a familiar voice (familiar to Ovak) “I found you.” Before leaving the caves we explored an underground river. As we headed back to the encampment, Ovak and Lukil bonded hard core, Nia and Mara talked about the shadow, Nia and Ovak talked about the shadow, and Mara asked Ovak and Corran how they feel about the Romans (they all kinda don’t like them). Back at the camp, we updated the other Romans about what happened. They said Corensia is sending some delegates to the “new” continent to talk to the Romans, and Nia and Lukil were left with us to help escort said delegates to the capital when they arrived. Ovak spent time telling Lukil about their people and meditating on druid things. Corran and Mara planned a comping trip.

THE Summary — April 13, 2017

THE Summary

You get about as much information as if you grab someone off the street and yell, “What happened today?!”

We checked for magic on the door but there was none and the ashes of the flame head pillars were shiny but we ignored that. We went into the next room with a stone table but no Aslan, and totally killed this white dude, Dwight, who was harassing Mara, trying to touch her face. He had raised some human and goblin corpses. Corran runs in and does pretty much nothing. Mara and Livinia and Ovak and even NPC Lukil take down the zombie babies. Mara was frickin sick destroying them.

We go through the next door and there’s like a ton of people in there! They weren’t expecting us and it’s super weird. Some dude with red eyes came at us but Ovak charmed him and then Juli tackled him out a tunnel and Aurelia yelled, “Don’t die!” back into the room. Was it at us or at the remaining skeletons and their well dressed leader? We may never know.

Those three peaced out and the well dressed dude told the skellies to dance all up on us and then we got to kill them. Their leader does parkour and weird biting stuff (vampire?) and heals himself? So he’s pretty scary. He really really didn’t like Livinia. And Ovak re-learned that Lukil is a cleric of Pelor. I put that on here so we won’t forget again. There is a big booming noise from where the three left before and the ceiling shakes.

Tonight’s Summary — February 10, 2017

Tonight’s Summary

We entered the spider cave (#springbreak2017) and the goblin body Sherlock Gnomes found before was gone! We followed the tracks and entered a large cavern with a bridge over a chasm. Mili killed the effing boss by tripping him into the bottomless chasm! And she got many other skeletons with her powerful leopard jaws. Livinia killed four skeletons with a single noise! Keyleth was a Gandalf and Ovak made Ralph ralph! Typical skeletons.
Next was some ghasts and they almost killed Keyleth and poisoned Ovak so we got to see our cleric heal. Ovak confronted Livinia and said, “Maybe the leaders who went in here before us didn’t spring these traps because they’re evil?” After that we all followed Livinia into a trap room with cackling skull torches and we were like, “Maybe these Romans are like, trying to kill us?” We killed the skull torches but some baby hands tried to get us?
Next was just two big angry skull torches that exploded when they died and knocked out Mili and almost killed three more of us. The team brought down the second one but no one could kill it at range until Corran checked over Mili really well and then got up and shot it and it died. Go team!

Other important notes:
We found fancy gloves in the chest in the caves with the creepy hands.
Also, Livi cast Mage Armor on Corran so don’t forget he has +2 to AC

Tonight’s Summary — January 21, 2017

Tonight’s Summary


  • Party goes to the “city” and begins negotiations
  • Ovak is meditating and looks up and the sun turns into a creepy eye that says “where?” really creepily. Ovak pees his pants a little and promptly chooses to forget this traumatizing experience.
  • Mara awkwardly follows and interacts with Aelia
  • As part of have good relations, Ignis assigns Ovak, Corran, and Mara to accompany two initiates, Lukil and Livinia, on their trial — kill the remaining goblins in the tribe.
  • The party begins traveling
    • Livinia and Mara chat about their families not loving their life choices. Livinia does a bit of magic and Mara freaks the crap out, asking her if she has ever tried not to be that way, or if she has tried praying it away.
    • Ovak tries to be friends with Lukil, who comments that his father taught him to be a Roman first.
    • Mara invites Corran to share her XL sleeping bag.
    • Ovak and Livinia chat about magic, then Livinia changes the subject to Lukil and then leaves to talk to Lukil.
    • Livinia expresses affection for forest gnomes to Corran, who appears grumpy and distrustful.
  • Upon reaching the goblins last camp, Julianos and Aelia formally begin the initiates trial.
  • Then we found signs of goblins and Corran and Nia followed them and they both equally knew that there were five goblins! And then Corran went into the cave stealthily and found a dead goblin body with a granite pipe in the pockets! He had been brutally killed there. Meanwhile, Nia ventured into the cave’s awning mouth.   Then Corran reported his findings to the others outside the cave.
SUMMARY from 1/1 — January 14, 2017