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10/3/17 SUMMARY — October 3, 2017

10/3/17 SUMMARY

We need to cross a river.

The party swims across without Pitter and Max and Lukil. Or maybe Max is there? MiLi and Starbuck are there. And Tempe’s egg.

We get to a town called Duskwood and Mara flirts with some Benedict Cumberbatch guards.

They tell us kids are dying. There’s a lot of blood at the scene of the crimes and the DM says maybe they drowned in it?

We find a body and talk to the mayor. He lets us investigate the murders/abductions.

The places where kids are dying makes a triangle on the map. Illuminati confirm!

Nia turns Mara into a sleepy kitten to wear on her shoulder and goes to find Ovak and Tempe (who were super investigating the beast areas–maybe it’s a bird?).

Tempe’s birdie egg hatches!


Buglehorn Curdledurdle —

Buglehorn Curdledurdle

Bopplepork Humblehatch
Benadryl Cucumberpatch
Banister Crumblebench
Buttercup Cumbersnatch
Bucket Crunderdunder
Bodysnatch Cumberbund
Beandip Pumkinpatch
Belchywelch Curfewman
Plumberbutt PooPooCatchoo
Bumblebee Crappersnap
Bendyman Coodlenoodle
Bittercrisp Cuddlefish
Budderbutt Marzipan
Biddybot Cooperydoo
Bumbsnuff Crimpysnitch
Bumbledore Cauliflower
Boobdick Crumplepot
Bloodybot Crappypants
Buttersmooth Soldierboy
Boomerang Summerseve
Summary from 9/19 — September 19, 2017

Summary from 9/19

We had a nice tie-it-all-together session, wherein
-Ovak talked to Moon Moon the druid lady (lots of druid history stuff) and got a cool figurine;
-Ovak and Lukil finally became Overkil and everyone loved it;
-Lavinia got her ass kicked by a wyvern;
-Ovak used animal diplomacy to not get the rest of the party crushed;
-Tempest got a mystery egg;
-Lavinia used some suggestions to move forward the Ovakil relationship;
-Mara joined us once again.

Max was shockingly non-confrontational the whole time.

SUMMARY 8/21/17 — August 21, 2017

SUMMARY 8/21/17

Max killed a dangerous dwarf archer, Tempest knocked out Ballur the baller. Max kicked him while he was out but then Tempest healed him. The dwarf werebear, Glorna, knocked the sh*t out of Starbuck and MiLi, then Ovak. Lukil arrived in the nick of time to catch Ovak hitting the ground and healed him! Nia called dibs on Ballur’s frost weapons and hugely helped in taking down the werebear (with non-lethal damage). Max heartlessly killed Glorna, the last of the werebears.
After the fight, Ovak saw a wolf in the cave and ran out after it! Tempest brought a captive Ballur to the body of his sister (Glorna) and protected his life even though Max wanted to kill him. Nia and Max looted everything! Then we took the bodies and Ballur out of the cave with a cart. We dropped everyone but Ballur off at the dwarf shepherd camp, then we headed back to the human town.
Ovak lost the running wolf in the snow and ran for an hour to get to the Sorceress’ camp. The sorceress is in wolf form with her wolves but transforms into a human as Ovak walks up and transforms into a half-orc. They talk about balance and run back to town to help save the dwarves from themselves.
In town, the dwarves are burning buildings and killing Romans. The Matriarch of dwarves went to kill the Mayor while the Sorceress put out the fire over the barracks. Nia made a good speech and the Mayor cried & shriveled like a baby. Rory came out of nowhere as a real sneaky killer and Max killed a guard. He tried to kill Rory but Tempest tackled him and they just knocked him out. Nia had a little chat with the mayor and here’s the result… basically, the Mayor states that everything was his personal fault, and to make up for the ways he has failed the Emperor, he is resigning. In his place he is recommending a counsel of 5 people, 3 dwarves (one being the matriarch) and 2 Romans, the temple priest and Max. He is also going to personally pay for the restoration of Dwarf property, land, and to ensure a thriving silverback trade that allows for both Roman needs, but also for Dwarves to have enough that they can use however they want.
Nia also explains everything to the dwarf Matriarch.

Team Ovak and the Notties —
Summary 8/11/17 — August 11, 2017

Summary 8/11/17

The party went to the shepherds camp and went into a yurt to talk with the dwarves.  Max turned invisible and sat in a tent and picked some pockets.  Tempest seduced the dwarves and then scared them.  Britain said he would tell us what we wanted to know.  Even though the other dwarves said they would frikin stab him. He went to Nia and said that they were hiding the silverbacks in a cave.  The dwarves decided to attack us so Max set the tent on fire and we dipped hard.  Ovak turns into a horse and Nia and Max both ride him.

We arrive at the secret yeti cave and enter on our super secret mission.  FIGHT TIME with some dwarves and one was an archer, and one was a wizard.  Max burned a dude to death even though Tempest and Nia had agreed to do non-lethal damage.  Tempest made some vines to grab a dude.  Gloria was totally a bear-lady-dwarf the whole time. Ovak is probably gonna die.  Nia hit a guy with a NON-LETHAL ice beam and “Knocked him unconscious”.  Also Baller is there and he is trying to kill us too.


Summary 6/3 — June 3, 2017

Summary 6/3

We started our trek through the mountains with Max as our guy-duh. The warriors are leading the caravan fearlessly when Max sees some circling birds! Ovak saw the same birds and informed the party that the birds were dark in color, so we all knew that!

Upon investigating the pile of dead horses, our heroes were attacked by a terrifying yeti! With piercing blue eyes that can freeze you solid, the yeti was a fearsome foe. Turns out there were three total yetis and, despite their size, we couldn’t see them in the snow? @DM.

Anyways, Ovak almost dies, Tempest almost causes an avalanche, Max flourishes, Nia actually does damage to the yetis, Ovak & Max & Tempest get frozen, Starbuck tramples a yeti, and then they win the fight!

On the way through the mountains, we see a mysterious white wolf, howling at us from atop the cliffs. Ovak tried to communicate but got no response. We made it into town and a super rude Vilar the Dwarf was using a Catholic pendulum to make the town warmer. We met Grovel and Gilmore, who offered us pay to find out why the wooly rhinos are disappearing! It’s either yetis or an enchantress that controls a pack of wolves, or something else.

John Mulaney appears in Balfam’s temple to Pelor, Tempest does a tumbling routine in a restaurant, Nia steals gold from a priest, Max pilfers some stuff, we stay the night and then we’re on our way! Oh, and Lukil was there the whole time–Ovak totally invites him up to his private room!!! Lukil didn’t pick up on his advances… Max reveals himself to be a tiefling.

In the morning we meet Gloria and Baller, two dwarf siblings to guide us on our quest, as well as Actual Vilar who is boring and cowardly. It’s hella cold as we travel to a storm giant who seems bent on destroying us. He and his wolf, Shadow, are very serious threats–Max falls unconscious–but we take them down! Max did some kick ass crit and sneak attack bonuses.

The giant said he didn’t take the wooly rhinos, so the party is off to interrogate the enchantress!

Grazing Grounds —

Grazing Grounds

DM: They’ll meet you out at the grazing grounds.

Max: Braising grounds?

Nia: Praising mounds?

Max: Blazing hounds?

Nia: Traipsing towns?

Max: Tazing bounds?

Ovak: Crazin’ clowns.

Tempest: Lazing pounds?

Nia: Glazing downs?

Max: Mazing frowns?

Nia: Macing gowns? Tracing nouns? Making sounds?

Tempest: Dazing fronds?

GM: Placing pawns?

Nia: Flaking prawns?

Max: Hans and Frans? Sigmund and Freud?


Summary for 5/4 – When all hell breaks loose — May 4, 2017

Summary for 5/4 – When all hell breaks loose

Previously, on 3&up:

  • The party rests in Queen’s Shield. Nia writes home.
  • A boat from Corensia arrives. From the ship comes some knights…also a bunch of criminals (including Leon).
  • Sergeant Ernest, head of the knights, talks to Jason. He is responsible to “watch over this lot.” We’ve got an Australia situation over here, aka penal battalion. This is the first boat and the real delegation boat will be arriving tomorrow.
  • Leon and Mara banter about his horse. Then he walks away and punches Sigmund in the face and they fight.
  • Ignis does some freaking amazing magic and puts up a fire wall between them.
  • Mara doesn’t like that and fights Ignis so he won’t interfere with the “honor duel.” #rollinitiative #WeDidn’tKnowWhatWasToCome
  • Ignis makes ‘splosions. Mara picks Nia up and pushes her out of the way brusquely. Ovak heals Mili. Mara trips Nia. Corran tackles Nia and Nia speaks gnomish to Corran before bamfing out.
  • Corran catches fire and is knocked unconscious. Nia puts him out and sings a gnomish lullaby to help stabilize him.
  • Meanwhile, Ignis has grappled Mara and disarmed her. Mara and Ovak yell to Nia to not fuck up in saving Corran.
  • Corran dies in Nia’s arms. Nia panics, attempts to bend luck and shove goodberries into Corran’s mouth. When Corran is obviously dead, she casts shatter on Mara, Ignis, and Leon, then experiences a wild magic surge and levitates with Corran into the air. Mara’s shield disintegrates with the force of the shatter spell.
  • Mara (unknowingly) casts “Disguise Self” and looks like she is wearing dark clothes with a hood. 
  • Ovak turns into a black leopard and runs over to Mili to comfort her. (“Basically the most amazing thing we’ve ever seen.”)
  • Nia, still levitating, enters a dark void and a voice says, “You have taken my quarry from me, but the hunt is not over.” Light returns.