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Summary 6/3 — June 3, 2017

Summary 6/3

We started our trek through the mountains with Max as our guy-duh. The warriors are leading the caravan fearlessly when Max sees some circling birds! Ovak saw the same birds and informed the party that the birds were dark in color, so we all knew that!

Upon investigating the pile of dead horses, our heroes were attacked by a terrifying yeti! With piercing blue eyes that can freeze you solid, the yeti was a fearsome foe. Turns out there were three total yetis and, despite their size, we couldn’t see them in the snow? @DM.

Anyways, Ovak almost dies, Tempest almost causes an avalanche, Max flourishes, Nia actually does damage to the yetis, Ovak & Max & Tempest get frozen, Starbuck tramples a yeti, and then they win the fight!

On the way through the mountains, we see a mysterious white wolf, howling at us from atop the cliffs. Ovak tried to communicate but got no response. We made it into town and a super rude Vilar the Dwarf was using a Catholic pendulum to make the town warmer. We met Grovel and Gilmore, who offered us pay to find out why the wooly rhinos are disappearing! It’s either yetis or an enchantress that controls a pack of wolves, or something else.

John Mulaney appears in Balfam’s temple to Pelor, Tempest does a tumbling routine in a restaurant, Nia steals gold from a priest, Max pilfers some stuff, we stay the night and then we’re on our way! Oh, and Lukil was there the whole time–Ovak totally invites him up to his private room!!! Lukil didn’t pick up on his advances… Max reveals himself to be a tiefling.

In the morning we meet Gloria and Baller, two dwarf siblings to guide us on our quest, as well as Actual Vilar who is boring and cowardly. It’s hella cold as we travel to a storm giant who seems bent on destroying us. He and his wolf, Shadow, are very serious threats–Max falls unconscious–but we take them down! Max did some kick ass crit and sneak attack bonuses.

The giant said he didn’t take the wooly rhinos, so the party is off to interrogate the enchantress!

Grazing Grounds —

Grazing Grounds

DM: They’ll meet you out at the grazing grounds.

Max: Braising grounds?

Nia: Praising mounds?

Max: Blazing hounds?

Nia: Traipsing towns?

Max: Tazing bounds?

Ovak: Crazin’ clowns.

Tempest: Lazing pounds?

Nia: Glazing downs?

Max: Mazing frowns?

Nia: Macing gowns? Tracing nouns? Making sounds?

Tempest: Dazing fronds?

GM: Placing pawns?

Nia: Flaking prawns?

Max: Hans and Frans? Sigmund and Freud?


Max comes out! —

Max comes out!

Max: He releases his illusion magic and removes his hat and his eyes are solid red and he has black horns.

[party reacts in shock to him being a tiefling]

Nia: Did you do anything to deserve this?

Max: I don’t know what I did to deserve being born.

Ovak: Ooh, did you try praying it away?

More Healing Spells —
Roll so good it doesn’t matter! —
Mara Hornblower — May 12, 2017

Mara Hornblower

Mara: …so I’m playing this tribute on my horn, and then I close my eyes and like while I’m playing, these four pieces of fire come out of me.

Tempest: You mean licks of fire?

Mara: Tongues of fire? I don’t know, what do you guys want from me? Well, they join together and make like a figure out of fire that dances near the campfire. And then it goes away before I open my eyes so I don’t even know it happened.

Ovak: Mara that performance was on fire.

Nia: That was so magical!

Ovak: You could even say it was lit.

Nia: You are naturally gifted, it comes from within, I can tell!

Ovak: You are smokin’ hot at that horn.

DM: You know they should call you Hornblower! Mara Hornblower.


Again?! —

DM: Nick will pull his horse up to Mara’s and try to talk to her.

Nia: Do I see that happen?

DM: Yeah.

Nia: I pull up between them and I’m like, “Hey, what’s up guys?” And I just start chatting him up, asking about his family and the Golden Sons.

DM: Cockblocker of the Century goes to Nia!

Mara: I’m like, “Hey Nicholas! I’m over here.”

Was that in Character? —

Was that in Character?

DM as Prince Willhelm: I am here on behalf of Queen Cearra Vokair, Second of her name, Watcher of the Dawn, Keeper of the Truth, and Wielder of the Dragon’s Fury.

Nia: That is the coolest name ever!

Tempest: Well I’m keeper of the Dragon’s Sperm!